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the girl you know cant look you in the eye

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I still have a chance with nick(carter)... [26 Jul 2006|02:49pm]
LANCE BASS IS GAY!
2 \\ saw it swimming _ where is my mind

[18 Jun 2005|08:03pm]
the ba was killed a little bit for me today. It has backfired numerous times as a refuge but this time was by far the worst. I just found the most comfortable way to fold my body into my front seat without the steering wheel getting in the way when I see a car nearly graze mine. The driver looked like an unfurnished 40 year old Mark McGrath. He saw me notice and says "dont worry about a thing baby I wont hit you," I replied with what I thought was the only appropriate response to that statement without involving anger, "ok, thanks." So he's manipulating his car in every way possible, and long after I had realized this, he realizes he is not going to get his optimal parking space while I'm in the way. "Baby, move up about a foot and everything will be just fine." I do, and say nothing because there is no appropriate response to that without involving a fuck you. He is parked with the back of his car to the hudson. I think he's going to take a boat out of his trunk and use it the way one uses a boat but he doesn't. He nextels his friend to come by and turns up this music. It sounded like slow country for hicks who pretend to know about jazz. The first thing to come to mind about his choice of music was that it could be the soundtrack to a rape. It only gets louder with every beer he opens and joint he rolls. His friend pulls up in front of my only exit, see's my car and questions it's presense. Mark says in turn, "I don't know some girls, I don't know." The obvious thought to proceed his remark was something along the lines of how he should "get in that vagina." I crouch and tuck in my feet from the already violated drivers side window because I know he didn't see me from the way Mark pretends to be disgusted at his comment instead of the seemingly natural high five and snicker that would usually follow in the case study that this turned out to be. Many more of them show up, all of them out of matches. I hear someone ask about a lighter as a torso with a cigarette in one hand approaches my car from the perspective of the side mirror. It turns out to be russ which took most of the focus off of how depressing these 35-42 year old men were, as they spoke of their falty choices on marriage and how they regreted the way they said the last goodbye to being single. They all left after they had just enough coronas to be able to drive home safely and not smell like booze when they came home to their wives, Mark stayed, me and russ tried to figure out his tattoo with a one dollar bill as a key. He smoked a closing joint and didn't want to waste that last beer. After what looked as though he was offering himself to the river, he came back to that soccer mom subaru of his. I thought how pulled in the first time but that was before the booze and "reefer" had kicked in (to my knowlege). I offered to move my car to make it easier, he declined as though it threatened him. While driving away he waved to us as if when we had listened to him and his friends talk we heard the real context of the conversation.

Moral: don't go to the ba without a safe way out and an excuse
2 \\ saw it swimming _ where is my mind

[30 Oct 2004|12:32pm]
got my phone back. it was kind of nice not having it for a week.
however, if we generally call each other, or will ever need to correspond please comment your number because i don't have it.
8 \\ saw it swimming _ where is my mind

[24 Oct 2004|10:54pm]
today was a very unlucky day.

i got on the subway and realized that the cell phone that used to be in my pocket had fallen out on the train mid nap.
then i walked back to the dorm which made me very thirsty so i drank someones green tea out of the refridge, i looked in it and found some mold swimming around. so im patiently waiting either to get violently sick or die, because apparently you can die from ingesting mold? i dont know the details but we'll see.
but on the up side brandis mom bought us a rapping cookie jar and i finally watched reservoir dogs without a bunch of add kids distracting me.
oh yea and my sister, lindsey, snuck out last night. i think it was the proudest moment of my life when i pulled back the sheets and found a bunch of stuffed animals in the shape of a body.

time to overdose on concerta and bawls energy drinks and write a paper.
(subliminal message to fury: we need to work on a halloween costume if we're coordinating something together)
19 \\ saw it swimming _ where is my mind

[30 Sep 2004|07:56pm]
im so fucking bored that i go to the bathroom to pee for fun. its really great.

the left shoe to three pairs of shoes i own are missing, how? i dont know.

so double d believes the fate of this country rests in her hands so shes taking the night off from classes to watch the debates and when told that the house defeated the ban on gay marriages she asks, what house?

manhattan never stops dripping and the security guards keep getting a little more bitter every day, i finally understand the i heart ny shirts.

tonights agenda: go somewhere, meet someone random and make up a new life for myself. unfortunately i dont have a dan flyn to call up and fuck with, im so mad i missed that. nice job ladies and becky i would suggest switching to theater as a major.
where is my mind

if you dont care dont bother [15 Aug 2004|01:30am]
i dont think i could have asked for a better night.
it kills me that people i love so much are going away so soon, it makes me feel lost. i've never been more confused in my life.
no one seems to get it except for the 4 of you.
i need this fucking lame vacation to hopefully develop a personality, maybe college can help me with that.
im not sure if things are ending more than people want to acknowledge, or im being pessimistic because i do that.
injungs pictures are the most nostalgic out of anyones. they include evan, period.
remember when all we used to do was hang out at jennys or suzys?
remember when we all said beyond a whole lot? and to the t?
emily brewster
althea webber
everybody doesnt
mickey, martin, arie
dirty mary
the big fight
add your own, we need a list of nostalgia

i dont want to progress yet
10 \\ saw it swimming _ where is my mind

[06 Aug 2004|11:19am]
hey bret, in your face.
"Many people, are familiar with Helen Keller in one of two ways. Either we see her as the wild child rescued from the prison of deafness and blindness through the heroic efforts of her "miracle worker" teacher, Anne Sullivan; or as the butt of cruel "Helen Keller" jokes. Neither image bears any relation to the actual, politically active Deaf/Blind woman whom that nearly mythical child became....Helen Keller became a member of the Socialist Party in 1909 and by 1912, she had become a national voice for socialism and working class solidarity."

fuck all of you who ever doubted helen.
7 \\ saw it swimming _ where is my mind

those things'll kill you [11 Jun 2004|01:24am]
so summer...absolutely amazing. why the fuck does dobbs ferry even bother having a pool, the hudson is right here. no other body of water quite compares to that one. so what if my babies are born with three and 1/2 legs, its worth it. and also, needing a cigarette so badly after seeing coffee and cigarettes that you accidentally buy a two for one of winchester cigars is a beautiful thing. anyone else think iggy pop is extremely attractive because i sure do. the way he carries himself, kind of strung out but also kind of relaxed, oh man. the old guy at the end is mine though.
but one thing thats not awesome - fighting about post prom. come on guys, we can do this without getting upset over it.

i dont know how i feel about the term legal adult. there are a lot of good things about it tho, i think. gah voting.
mom quote:"nice hickeys sharon, you know, if people see hickeys on your neck they might think you're...(whispers) promiscuous." thanks luna.
3 \\ saw it swimming _ where is my mind

[26 May 2004|02:40pm]
i generally dont like surveys, but ive been making a fucking handbook on peace for the past 3 hours so please entertain me.
my life is in your fingers....

1. Who are you?
2. Are we friends?
3. When and how did we meet?
4. Do you have a crush on me?
5. Would you kiss me?
6. Give me a nickname and explain why you picked it.
7. Describe me in one word.
8. What was your first impression?
9. Do you still think that way about me now?
10. What reminds you of me?
11. If you could give me anything what would it be?
12. How well do you know me?
13. When's the last time you saw me?
14. Ever wanted to tell me something but couldn't?
15. Are you going to put this on your LiveJournal and see what I say about you?
10 \\ saw it swimming _ where is my mind

[20 May 2004|04:14pm]
alright coffee snatchers, thats it. this is the last straw.

when: tonight 8:30 p.m.
where: my car - parked in the same spot that you stole alice from, be there. theres gonna be a rumble.
weapons?: oh yes. a good crutch fight is in order.
both of you reveal yourselves to me, and with you, bring both my coffee and alice. and if either one of you happened to have drank my coffee, well, i guess were just going to have to go to madabas and get some.

ill be waiting.
4 \\ saw it swimming _ where is my mind

i used to moon walk all the time....and then you had that terrible accident [13 May 2004|02:36am]
you know its been a productive day when youve spent all your money on cigarettes and alcohol. i would say coffee as well but someone decided to break into my unlocked car and steal my coffee, the coffee bandit is on the loose so watch out. thats such a crime that would happen in dobbs ferry, someone going into a car and stealing coffee, everyones too suburban to steal anything else.i will not rest untill i find you coffee bandit.

the 12th means nothing to me.
where is my mind

[26 Apr 2004|05:04pm]
this weekend was the most beautiful event i have experienced in a while, if not ever. celebrating diversity while experiencing that much unity is indescribable. the amount of love was overwhelming. having strangers come up to me and ask to push me in my wheel chair, or call me an inspiration, or even just saying kudos made me want to cry. maybe it wasnt only about the fight because abortion is legal. it was about being a feminist and a humanist. it was about feeling so apart of sooo many different people that you would never think you would have anything in common with to i.e. middle aged christians/republicans. the action of marching(wheeling) for miles to show how much you care about a cause is so gratifying. theres something about being able to represent you're emotional standpoing on an issue by doing something physical, and being sore afterwards, that makes you feel like you've done something fucking important.
favorite signs: "the only bush i trust is my own."
"give bush the finger" - written on undies
"not my body not my choice" - back of male anarchist drummers shirt.

its interesting to think that as much as we hated the pro - lifers who held up obscene(and fake) pictures of abortions, they hated us just as much.

yea and so peaches. im going to buy the tickets tonight. ticketmaster will only let my buy 4 so im guessing im buying for myself, becky, brooke, and luna. jenny, we can go to ticketmaster in ardsley and buy yours later once we figure out the situation, sound good? comment if youre going.

HAPPY BIRTHDAY BROOKE!!!!!
10 \\ saw it swimming _ where is my mind

guerrilla girls [21 Apr 2004|03:27pm]
ok so possibly some bad news. i visited the tisch/nyu website and called and they have no idea what im talking about. so, i e mailed the guerrilla girls and hopefully i'll get a response sometime soon. if not sorry for the false hope. ill update if i know anything.
1 \\ saw it swimming _ where is my mind

[20 Apr 2004|10:40pm]
listen up all you feminist broads,
tomorrow this feminist group called the guerrila girls (http://www.guerrillagirls.com/index.shtml) are going to be performing at NYU Tisch School of the Arts. They take the names of dead women artists, wear guerilla masks, and make feminism fun!

i didnt mean to just address girls, come if you're into humans and humans having rights.
5 \\ saw it swimming _ where is my mind

[31 Mar 2004|11:46pm]
dont try writing poetry on the back of a carnage crew flyer, the reason for this is that you can see the words "5 bucks you broke bitches" through the sheet of paper, and get completely discouraged because neither you or i will ever be as brilliant of a poet as alex daniel(s)...oh the alliteration...

my dreams have been pretty fucked up recently. they involve a lot of me murder by golf club, h-dale, clown suits, internet pornography, tattoos and prison time. i understand if you dont want to be friends anymore, im scared too.

i hate that i always appear mad and/ or actually am mad. i dont know why and id like it to stop. maybe its because i hate the word posi. i dont mind positive, just posi it really bothers me. i think the antidotes for this are a. spring b. more rod stewart stripper videos in circulation, one, i assure you, is not enough.

i miss bad mitten. THE MONSOON.
9 \\ saw it swimming _ where is my mind

batata! [22 Mar 2004|11:47pm]
im applying for this scholarship for, you know, the c word (not cunt, college) and i have to write this essay. one of the essay questions is describe your life in 20 years from now. i looked at that question laughed and worked on something else. meanwhile, rochelle is sitting next to me adding 17 to 20 and making my life into a time line. there were no instructions or directions in this time line but just the fact that my life for the next 20 years was written out with numbers,dashes and brackets really got to me. then she proceeds to say that once you get to 26 you blink and your 37, then you blink again and your 60. that was about the point where i got severe stomach cramps and thought i was going to vomit. im completely fucked. i have no faith in myself. im going to fail at life. awesome.

i feel like i can use the winter as an excuse to be angry. i need spring. i need the endorphins or some shit. the levels of some chemical or hormone i heard on the news need to rise. i cant stop thinking about picnics and the ba and the first day of summer last year when we went on a picnic and then everyone else went swimming in the hudson. i miss smoking with the canadian while sitting on a beach and looking at alcatraz at night. good nostalgia has been making me feel like shit recently. i start out thinking how awesome everything was in the summer and early fall and then proceed to now and want to magically transform into cher and turn back time(and maybe wear the same outfit she did in the video but never mind that).

this friday i think im going to ruin my whole looks ( all 9 of them) again and get my nose pierced, or my lip re done. if anyone wants to get pierced with me (christie and her friend) or wants to come along shout me a a holla.
5 \\ saw it swimming _ where is my mind

lon gisland [15 Jan 2004|11:58pm]
"Dear Sharon

Based on the recommendation of the Long Island University/CW Post Campus Asmissions Committee. it is my distinct pleasure to inform you that you have been accepted into the freshman class for the Fall 2004 semester. Your acceptance to CW Post was based on a thorough review of all the academic documents you provided to the Admissions Office. Congratulations!"

crazy shit.
9 \\ saw it swimming _ where is my mind

[07 Jan 2004|01:04am]
i need some rambling time. i feel like had a lack of communication today, so im going to pretend like this screen is person and substitute my 3rd cup of tea for body heat. live journal nazis fuck off.

hubbas two days in a row, all i have to say is mmmm and ouch. me and becky decided that if the guy with the coke fingernail is handling our food then some cocaine probably slips in there addicting us to it. maybe its a murder conspiracy. they probably want us to either get mad cow disease and die or die of an ulcer, im not sure if you can die of an ulcer but if you can thats their plan.

in the stranger, the relationship the old scabby guy has with his old scabby dog is very upsetting. he beats it then it runs away and hes so sad. he really loved it. i really hope it comes back and the scabby guy realizes how much it meant to him and never beats it again. i really dont care about the trial i want to know if it comes back, why im retarded and give a shit about the scabby dog...? i really dont know.

i keep hearing drilling from one of my neighbors houses and its scaring the shit out of me because a) it reminds me of the tom waitts song and it starts with whats he building in there...and then it goes on to talk about how he hears moaning and what not and b) because of this project that im actually doing, yea im doing work.

i almost urinated on myself when i read albert fish's letter to the girls parents, but i didnt. belle gunnes would have been a lot awesomer if she didnt murder her kids thats fucked up. there should be more women serial killers, like a really insane one. in the encyclopedia of serial killers it says that there could never be a female jack the ripper, we'll see about that. can someone tell john robinson to stop staring at me whenever i go on the crimelibrary.com. hes like the mona lisa, everywhere you go hes looking. 4 million (minus the million) more pages to go on this piece of shit report.
18 \\ saw it swimming _ where is my mind

[04 Jan 2004|06:28pm]
[ mood | risshi ]

when breaks end, its the most depressing thing ever. recollecting all the amazing shit that happened in however long the particular break was and then knowing that your going to be in school in less than 24 hours is probably the worst feeling. this break was awesome but in a kind of fucked up way at some points. going back to school is a kick in the face because i know its going to be over really soon. i sound like an idiot saying this but i dont want it to, not the actual school part because school is fucking horrible but the just the time period. theres getting acceptance/rejection letters which may of may not be the end of a lot of things that are good right now, both acceptances and rejections are may cause this. im probably being pessimistic right now cos breaks over so if someone could call me or comment for me to shut the fuck up that would be great.

ok onto being positive:
banned/twofold show
70 green
new years (even tho my shoes smell like vomit)
being told i was gonna die, it was kinda funny after a while
staying at mikes for the first time
coffee with kath
taking west 287 instead of east 287 to get to hubbas
scavenger hunt, mallory should be given a nobel prize for thinking that up
aberance show
luna pissing in her pants
i probably forgot some, remind me

6 \\ saw it swimming _ where is my mind

[29 Dec 2003|11:15am]
if anyone wants to read the book snake by mary woronov give me a lil comment or shout me a holla because i highly reccomed it.

Trapped in a bad marriage in the LA punk scene, sandra dreams of killing her hiusband. the dream comes true when she thinks she witnesses his murder by luke, a hitman on his first job. when hes unable to kill sandra also luke is forced to hake her with him into his workd of small hoods and idaho survivalists. sandra is also haunted by dreams, were doctors in an omnious clinic tell her shes mad and guilty of murder."

it sounds kind of cheesy from the back but its not. confusing at the beginning but gets real good at the end when you know whats going on.
so if you like murder, punk (although theres very little punk), s&m and awesome you should give it a read.
4 \\ saw it swimming _ where is my mind

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